Ellen DeGeneres
by emeraldonix
Summary: Naruto wrote a book.  Oh, no.  Sorry if it seems corny but it sounded like a cute idea to me.   This is tied to my other story "That's Life" but you will understand it without having to read the other story first


_**Ellen DeGeneres**_

"Let's give a warm welcome to Naruto Uzamaki everyone!"

I shake my head. How is that idiot a world famous author? HOW? He wrote the book last summer, and it's already sold millions of copies. I haven't personally read it, for it has to be some trashy book about porn and ramen. I won't even read the description. When Naruto called me up with two tickets to Ellen DeGeneres, I could care less that it would be all about his book. I watch Ellen every day after I get home from work. It's on my bucket list, and I can finally cross it off!

Naruto bumps Ellen's fists and I chuckle. Of course he would greet her like that. That's how he greets everyone. That's why I love him though. As a brother of course, because I have this man sitting next to me. As if he knows I'm thinking about him, he intertwines our fingers and rests them on his thigh. I lean my head on his shoulder and look around at all of the stunning lights.

"So I've read the book, and I can't believe it's true!" Ellen says.

Naruto leans back into the couch and crosses his legs looking like he's lounging back in his living room. I can't remember ever seeing him nervous. Well, except when he proposed to Hinata. It took him three months and thirteen foiled plans before he finally just flat out asked her.

"Well, I can hardly believe it happened to me! But then again, I think we saw it coming all along."

I look over at Sasuke and see the slight frown on his face. Naruto wrote a non fiction book and it's popular? What the hell could he have possibly wrote about?

"Well, for all of you who don't know what we're talking about, Mr. Uzamaki here has written a book about his high school and college experiences. There are several important characters, but we have flown two here. Sakura and Sasuke Uchiha, could you please come up here?"

I think my heart has stopped. Oh. My. God. I blink when a spotlight glares down at me, and Sasuke stands up, ending my shock. I stand up on shaking legs and make my way up to the stage. I hug Ellen, before turning to Naruto. "You didn't."

He grins. "Oh, relax Sakura-chan! You love this show!"

I slug him playfully in the arm and take a seat next to Naruto. Sasuke sits next to me, and I feel my shaking gradually disappear. Ellen turns to us. "So let's start from the beginning. How did you three meet?"

I grin as the memory floods through my brain. Oh boy. Naruto and Sasuke are screwed. I look at Naruto's averted gaze and Sasuke's glare warning me to not say anything, but I grin like the chesire cat. "Well you see, it was the first day of first grade when Sasuke pelted a dodge ball at me and knocked me out. I recall having a concussion from that." I say while elbowing Sasuke in the ribs. Then I continue. "But that's not the reason why these two idiots are embarrassed. You see, the first time we met Naruto was in seventh grade, and also happens to be the day Sasuke lost his first kiss. Naruto did too. The best part is they kissed each other!"

Naruto jumps up when the audience starts laughing. "You make it sound worse than it was! Kiba elbowed me and I fell forward and- and-"

Ellen is chuckling. She looks up at Naruto. "May I ask why you fell forward when you were elbowed?"

When Naruto starts to splutter, I answer for him. "He was trying to see why everyone had a crush on Sasuke. I guess he found out."

The audience laughs and Naruto turns bright red. Sasuke's hand in mine is sweating and I pat his shoulder. "Doesn't it feel good to confess your feelings honey?"

"Hn." He gives me a dry smirk before a sour frown comes over his face.

Ellen asks another question. "Well now that we've got that out of the way, let's move on to High School, your senior year to be exact. Naruto, you're the author. Why don't you take the story from here."

I grab on Naruto's arm and he sits down next to me. He's happy to change the subject, so he launches into an overview of the time period. "Well the first few months were happy ones. My football team did pretty good, while these two losers had a small fight over… well, I never did find out why they were fighting. The Teme refuses to tell me, and Sakura would always change the subject. However, they made up and they both went on to win state titles in cross country. I was there, like the loyal friend I am, and after Sakura's race I was so excited for her. Unfortunately that's when her mom collapsed…" He stops talking and glances at me. I nod for him to continue. I've come to terms with my mother's death. I'll be alright. "Well, she had had cancer for a long time, and they thought it had gone away, but about a month before the state meet Sakura's mom had found out she had it again. She didn't want to worry Sakura so she hid the illness from her. It wasn't until after her state race that she found out about the cancer. Her mom died that day. I was so worried that she would succumb to depression, but Sasuke and his family welcomed her into their home with open arms and she recovered by the end of winter. She wasn't back to normal, but who would be? Well, she won the hundred meter butterfly and four hundred I.M. that year at state swimming, and she received almost a full ride scholarship to the University of Konoha. The University as most of you know, is huge in business and medical, and medical school is exactly what she wanted to do. Sasuke had had a scholarship for the University since his Sophomore year, and I busted my butt to follow them. There was no way I was getting left behind by them. The Teme's head would swell even worse than it already has!"

"Let's move on to college." Ellen says, leaning her elbow on the armchair and propping her face up with her hand.

Naruto has gotten really into his story now. I'm in utter shock that he isn't shouting cusses every other second. I didn't know he could talk at a normal volume, let alone with proper grammar and his memory is to good. "Who are you and what have you done with Naruto?" I mutter.

He ignores me and starts talking. "Well us three decided to share an apartment on campus grounds. Sakura took the room I wanted," he stops to glare at me, "and the first night we went to a club owned by Sasuke's older brother Itachi. For a reason unknown, Sakura decided she wanted to dance with a shirtless Itachi. Let's just say this didn't sit well with Sasuke."

I interject before he can go on. "Ok, in my defense, it was Itachi's idea not mine. Plus Sasuke had left me confused on…. Wait never mind…"

It feel like everyone in the building is looking at me now, and they probably are. I'm so stupid. Why did I bring that up?

"Go on Sakura. Finish your sentence." Ellen says. Naruto is grinning from ear to ear.

"Um. Well, you see… Remember when Naruto said we had a fight before our state meet? Well, um it wasn't a fight exactly. It was more of… um… I guess you could say we were unsure if we could remain friends after making out on his bed. Um… Itachi stopped anything from happening… but… yeah…" I can feel my face ablaze. I can see the back of Sasuke's neck is red. "Well, we did make up, but we never actually talked it over. We both pretended it never happened, and I danced with Itachi that night at the bar to see if Sasuke would be jealous…"

Naruto bursts out laughing and the audience follows. Oh, joy. Sasuke reaches around me and smacks the back of Naruto's head. The crowd seems to just laugh harder. Naruto finally calms down and continues. "Where was I? Oh yeah! Well, Sasuke went over and shooed Itachi away and him and Sakura had a very intimate night of grinding. Um, they left the club before me, and when I came home, well, let's just say I was scarred for the rest of my life when I opened Sasuke's door to find both of them."

I punch him in the arm hard. "YOU OPENED THE DOOR? WHAT IN GOD'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT? ARE YOU ALWAYS STUPID OR DO YOU JUST TRY EXTRA HARD AROUND ME?"

He shrinks away from me. "Hey I was drunk! And yes, I do make a special effort around you, thank you very much!" Before I can respond, he continues. "Well, anyways the next morning Sakura went on a really long run, but she was fine when she finally came back. All three of us were going to get pizza when a guy came up and asked Sakura to get lunch with him. Sasuke went all protective mode and scared the poor guy off. Sakura blew up and yelled at him to make up his mind and stormed off. I think she weant shopping with Sasuke's mom. She came back that night and later on Sasuke apologized and the next thing I know, BAM! They're dating! Well, not even a week later, _Yahoo! _News had a story on Sakura. They had followed her to a grocery store and after looking at all of her purchases, they were convinced she was pregnant. Mikoto took Sakura to the hospital even though Sakura was convinced she wasn't, and would you know, she was!"

The audience gives a deafening "Aw!". I feel a smile creep onto my face.

"Well, most people who were just about to start college who had a bright future would just get an abortion or put the kid up for adoption when it was born, but Sakura isn't normal. She gave up her swimming scholarship and worked out a plan to keep the baby. The Teme was supportive and all that, but he refused to name the kid after me, but he caved!"

"Dobe."

"TEME!"

I chuckle a bit at their bickering. Naruto gives one last glare before continuing. "Well Sakura got real hormonal and towards the end I thought she was schizophrenic. No worries though, she's not."

"We aren't quite sure about you." Sasuke adds. Naruto ignores him.

"Well, she had the baby and it was a boy. His name is Akhito _NARUTO_ Uchiha."

The spotlight moves from us, and I follow it to see my little boy running out onto the stage. I can see Mikoto and Fugaku back stage and I wave to them. I scoop Akhito up onto my lap when he reaches me, and the whole crowd goes "Aw" again.

"Then, not even two months later, we find out she's pregnant again!"

Midori runs out and jumps into Sasuke's arms effectively knocking the breath out of him.

"Sasuke, being the," Naruto gags, "_nice _guy he is gave up his scholarship for cross country and track and focused on school and family. Now they're both living in a big a- butt house and their kids love their Uncle Naruto!"

"Only because said Uncle spoils their dinner with chocolate." I add dryly.

"It doesn't matter why! They still do! Just like you two love me! Admit it!"

"That's debatable." Sasuke says.

We all know that Naruto's right. This just intensified said love. I can't believe this all happened to me! This is a dream come true. Although, I'll have to read this book. He better not go into detail about certain scenes…

"Let's have a big round of applause for this family for being such and inspiring group of people!"

And the crowd goes wild.


End file.
